Burned: A Tokio Hotel Fanfiction
by DogwoodTreesAndBumblebees
Summary: Telling Layla's story, spoken, wasn't easy, about how her bones were broken. But because she lived, lived to be fully alive, ready to smile, and love like she was alive it was easy to tell the story of how she taught Bill to do the same. M for cursing R
1. Chapter 1

Oh my goodness! new fic! Now, I have pleanty written, but! Meli OwO says that I should lead ya'll on! which I agree with! so, you're just gonna have to deal with it untill I post more  
:) That! And! Ya'll should look up liltokiox3's Imaginary. Fantastic little fiction I beta'ed myself! also check out Bloody Addiction by XxSilentLoverxX! A fic I co-wrote! okay, thats all the advertising I'm gonna do for now. read, review, love it. (of course! you are always welcome to hate it and or leave a horrible review :D) also! I'd like to point out that the first chapter was a dream I had, odd I know, :D  
Also! one more thing before I let ya'll go on and read, I've made a banner for this so look up KaulitzWriter89 on Photobucket, first two pics on the default album :)

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I hadn't noticed them sitting behind me.  
Okay, that was a lie.

I had noticed them, how could I not?

They were Tokio Effiing Hotel for goodness sake!

Everyone in the room felt their presence.  
Without a doubt they were one, if not the, biggest group in the room.

That and the fact that the lead singer was sitting right behind me, fidgeting every five seconds.

Honestly! Could that boy (well, man, but I refuse to refer to him as such) ever hold still?  
I didn't think it possible.  
_  
"Has he sat still once?" _Lara giggled in my ear.

"No." I whispered back. "He doesn't like his jacket."

"Schatz, how on Gods Earth do you know that?" She asked me as some weird chick from Peru or something came on stage.

"Don't blaspheme." I said at once. "And he keeps scratching at it." I whispered.

Her dark insanely curly hair tickled my face as I whispered the words in her ear.

There was a shout as a round of applause resounded through the room.

I looked up to see Lady Gaga accepting an award in some ridiculous spiky get up that looked as if she were a magnet hovered over finely ground iron.

I was just glad she didn't have a performance that night.

"Its real leather, He probably feels uncomfortable in it, he hasn't worn real leather in years."

Lara nodded and snuck a glance at the men behind is.

I didn't dare. The possibility of gazing in fangirl wonder for the rest of the night was too high… no they didn't need that.

"They look sort of stressed out." Lara said quietly as she gazed around the room airily.

"What do you mean?" I asked as Green Day came onstage and started to play, I clapped politely but my mind was wondering.

Normally I would have been dancing and singing along, but no, what Lara had just said weighed too heavily on my mind.

Lara simply made a noise that meant '_I don't know' _as Nick beside her started banging his head to the music.

What. A. Dork.

Finally the last award was going to be announced.

Band of the year.

Damn that was a good award.

There was **_NO _**way in hell that we were bagging that.

Sure, we were nominated, but with people like Green Day, Flyleaf and Some weird band from Magdeburg East Germany whose name escapes me… there was hardly any chance we'd win.

We'd already got best newcomer, best rock sound and something that had to do with something I didn't pay attention to…

As I said, Antioch Rising didn't have a shot in hell.

Some old guy with liver spots (okay, it was Bruce Springsteen) started to announce the award.

Nick was crossing his fingers under his legs.

Lara and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes thinking the same thing. 'No way in hell.'

"And the winner is!" Some blond bimbo called as she dramatically opened an envelope.****

Lara and I screamed and stood up clapping with the rest of the TH fangirls in the arena.

**_"TOKIO HOTEL!"_**

We turned around and looked at them; Tom smiled slightly as Bill stood up.

Lara and I sat back down as Bill started to walk down the aisle.

This was the first time I'd seen him.

I hadn't looked at him in fear that I would become a weeping pile of fangirl goop.

Girly fangirl goop.

But now that I looked at him, man that dude looked like shit.

His eyes were all dark. (_Ha. Ha. _I know what you're thinking. His eyes are always painted black, no it wasn't just the makeup. It was more than that.) And his shoulders were slumped.  
He hadn't even done his hair, it was all loose around his face. Sure, it looked **_SEXY AS HELL! _**

It was all messy and carefreelooking, had he not been so obviously stressed it would have really been carefree.

As he walked past me, the smell of his cologne hit my face.

I found myself thinking _'he smells good…'  
_  
He itched at his wrist before angrily ripping off the ever apposing leather jacket.

He had been about to simply drop it on the ground, but I being me, put out a hand as if to take it.

He shrugged his shoulders and mumbled to me "keep it." begrudgingly.  
He straightened his thin black teeshirt and walked up to the stage to accept their award. The whole thing had happened in only five seconds.

Isn't it weird how time seems to go all wonky at important events?

"What the eff?" Lara squealed.

_"Shhh!"_ I hissed as I looked up at Bill.  
I slid the soft leather between my fingers.

Bill had taken the award as the crowd roared. I watched as he walked up to the little podium.

_"Er ist going auf bis gefickt werden, nicht wahr?" _I heard Georg whisper behind me.

"Halt den Mund!" Tom barked.

Lara shook her head next to me worriedly.

Bill looked down at the award and stroked it slightly.

"Something's wrong." I mumbled.

"What do you mean?" Will asked, leaning in with a confused tone as he looked at my worried face.

Bill was looking into the crowd with a blank stare.

I had never seen that look on his face.

There was no spark in his eyes as there always was when he was in front of anyone.

Only blankness.

"We're really proud –," Bill started to say but his broke hitched and he looked down.

"Look at his lip." Lara mumbled.

It was shaking and trembling, like you would if you were really cold.  
(Or your dosage of Zoloft had been upped…don't ask me how I know that)

And if I wasn't mistaken, a tear rolled down his face.

Lara grasped my hand tightly like any true fangirl would.

Will rolled his eyes at us.

Behind me Tom was muttering curses in German and David, (I knew it was Jost 'cause he had that weird squeaky voice. *nods*) was just short of ranting.

"We –," Bill sighed.

"We needed this." he said before nodding and walking off the stage.

Everyone knew that the need that Bill spoke of was not a material need.  
It was not the 'I need more money – I need a faster car, I need a bigger house –.'  
It was a very raw, emotional, needed need.

Tom stood up at once and started to walk away.  
Georg and Gustav started to stand but Tom just waved his hand as if to say 'stay.'.

Tom met up with Bill at the end of the stage.

Everyone else had turned back to the stage where Mario Lopez was smiling in all his dimpled, more than slightly gay glory.  
I wasn't though, Lara wasn't either.

We watched as Tom walked up to Bill and Bill leaned his lanky frame against his brother despairingly.

Slowly I raised smooth leather to my face.

It smelled like him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lame chapter, I know, but it kinda needs to be there...  
****  
**_  
_

The music blared in the room as someone walked up to us.

"Layla!" A voice called, I spun around to see one Lacey Mosley of the band Flyleaf running toward me.

I laughed loudly and held my hands out as she ran into my arms.

We grasped each other tightly before letting go and smiling at each other.  
"How are you?" I asked as I laughed.

"Good good." She nodded.

Pat nodded from somewhere behind him.

I wondered if it was me, or if he was getting creepier.

"OH!" I said jumping up and down.

"I FORGOT I FORGOT! I FORGOT!" I yelled.

"Forgot what?" Lacey laughed.

"Crap, I don't remember." I sighed, after thinking for a moment.

"Man! We missed you!" Sameer said bobbing his dark skinned head while all the while sounding like a pot head. (Something I've come to realize is that whatever he sounds like, it's not drug educed…we think…)

"Dude, we know you wanna do her, but come on, you don't have to exclaim it to the wholllleee world." Pat said laughing.

"Ohh! You know I love you Sameer!" I shouted and kissed his slightly blushing cheek.

"Oh it's been ages!" I shouted as I waved frantically in Lara's direction.

"It has!" Lacey smiled.

Lara was completely ignoring me, well, not so much ignoring me as paying attention to the hot guylinered man standing in front of her talking.

"LARA!" I shouted.

She turned around at the sound of my voice.  
Even though she was pretty pissed, the look on her face was priceless.

I do love her pissy looks, almost as much as she loves it when I roll my eyes and look at her from the corner of my eyes with that "mmhhhmm I'm sure." Look.

Gee, I love us.

I saw her wave goodbye and stalk over to me.

"What Layla?" she asked snippily.

I sighed and put my hands on her shoulders and spun her around.

Her face split into a smile as she launched herself at Lacey.

"Hi!" Lara shouted.

"HELLO!" Lacey shouted back.

"YOUR NEW ALBUM!" I shouted, remembering what I was saposed to be talking about.

(Even if it sounds like I'm being a total spaz [which, I assure you, I was], the music was really loud, so all the screaming isn't as bad as it sounds….*lame look* ehh, whatever)

"What about it?" Pat asked, looking confused as Nick walked up behind me and set his head on my shoulder.

"Eww, get off me." I said shrugging his heaviness off me.

Nick laughed and held out his hand to the other guys.

"No, I just remembered."

Billie Joe Armstrong passed by us and rested a hand on my shoulder as he said "Hey! Come talk to us later kay?" I nodded smiling as he and Mike rushed off to somewhere else.

"Weird –," Nick said.

"Anyway!" Pat yelled pushing his hand through the silence and his hair.

"Anyway! What I wanted to tell you is that Seven Seals And Closed Deals is fantastic! I adore it and I am so happy that you made it! One of your best albums." I said.

"Thank you!" Lacey said as she hugged me again. God I had missed them.

"It's just one big love fest isn't it?" Pat laughed as he hugged Lara too.

But as I realized what Pat had said, I looked a bit more closely at Lacey and gasped slightly.

"OH YOU'RE KIDDING ME!" I screamed jumping up and down.  
They all looked at me as if I was mad.

I leaned it and whispered excitedly "Lacey you're pregnant! One hell of a love fest!"

Her face turned a slight ashen color as Pat, Lara, Sameer and Nick all went "WHAT?"

"You guys didn't know…?" I said, my mad smile turning into an embarrassed one.

"No, they didn't, how did you know?" Lacey said sighing.

"You're practically glowing, but you're eyes are tired. You're chewing mint gum, you were eating Almonds all through the award show, and those grey bracelets on your wrists are Sea bands, they're for travel, sea sickness and morning sickness…" I trilled off.

Lara smiled brightly as Lacey's husband walked up behind her, asking what was all the shouting about. 


	3. Chapter 3

"And then the whole thing blew up! Just blew up!" Billie Laughed as the one and only Tré Cool (who really is as cool as his name would suggest.) started laughing. 

"The whole crowd loved it, they just thought it was some extra pyro, I'm just surprised that it didn't burn down the whole fucking place!"

But as they all laughed, I shuddered slightly and Mike went on to say something else, I found myself drifting out of the conversation and looking across the room.

There was a shortish man with long brown hair talking to another man who was just as stocky only with a definitively Drummer air.

I got up swiftly and walked over to the bar.

"Hey shug, what can I get you?" The man asked winking.

I rolled my eyes slightly and said "Do you have some paper and a pen? I seemed to have left mine at home…" I said rummaging through my purse.

"Hmm… let me see." The man said before turning around and looking through things.

A few moments later he popped back up with a small piece of paper and a pen.

"Sorry, this is all I've got, will it do?" he asked.

I looked at it and nodded, smiling slightly.

He smiled brightly and bustled back to work, whistling all the way.

I bent down and started writing.

(Might I add that this is simply a recreation of the letter, the true letter is much more…okay it doesn't sound quite as good due to the whole slight LANGUAGE BARRIER thing. So yeah, but you get the jist)

_My Dear Mr. Listing and Mr. Schäfer….  
**  
I really –  
**_  
But then I stopped, scratched out the previous and started again.

_I did not want to say this to them because I did not want to irritate them, they obviously have quite a bit on their plates._

_Would you please, if you can, convey to them that whatever they are going through, I hope turns out all right and that God blesses them with the peace to accept whatever has happened._

_As I said, I didn't want to come to them for fear of aggravating them, but I knew that you would understand._

_If you need anything at all, please, feel free to ask and I shall do whatever is in my power to help them and you in whatever issues you are going through._

Also, please convey to them that (because we know that Bill will freak out at it) The whole world does not know, but I just spend way too much time reading people's emotions and watching THTV.

Yours most heartedly, Layla _Eithne-_

**Antioch Rising.**

"What are you doing?" Lara asked as she came up beside me.

"I'm writing a note to the G's over there." I jutted my finger in their direction.

I'm pretty sure that Gustav saw me since he had been watching me since I had come to the bar.

"What's it say?" She asked.

I held the note out to her.

"I had forgotten how bad my grammar was." I sighed as she took the note. (And as I was a thoroughly Evil Grammar Nazi, I felt quite bad about it. In fact, I loathed it. It made me sorta sick to my stomach.)

"Ich wollte nicht sagen, weil ich nicht wollte, um sie zu provozieren, sie sind natürlich ein wenig auf den Teller.  
Würden Sie bitte, wenn du kannst sie zu lehren, daß alles, was gehen sie durch, ich hoffe, es stellt sich heraus, dass alles in Ordnung und Gott segnet sie mit Frieden zu akzeptieren, was passiert ist.  
Wie ich bereits sagte, habe ich nicht wollen, dass sie aus Angst vor der erschwerenden sie kommen, aber ich wußte, daß Sie verstehen.  
Wenn Sie nichts tun, zögern Sie nicht zu fragen, und ich werde tun, was in meiner Macht steht, um ihnen zu helfen und Ihnen, in welcher Fragen, die Sie durchlaufen.

Bitte beachten Sie auch vermitteln, dass sie, weil sie (wir wissen, dass Bill freak out at) ist die Welt nicht wissen, aber ich verbringe viel zu viel Zeit mit dem Lesen der menschlichen Gefühle und beobachten THTV.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen Herz, Layla Eithne –," She read out loud.

"It's a bit off, but I think they can deal." Lara nodded.

"We really should break out the Rosetta stone again." I sighed as we started walking over to them.  
Gustav's eyes were trained on us the whole time.

"HA! When we get time." Lara said.

"Which we all know we won't have." We said at the same time, then giggled.

But all giggles disappeared as we came closer to the G's.

"Excuse me?" I said in what ended up in a simpering voice.  
Okay, that was annoying.

Georg turned and smiled brightly.

"Ja?" He asked in his ever thick accent.

I couldn't help but swoon slightly.  
GOD I LOVE GERMANS!

I saw the same thought running through Lara's head.  
(We were very much linked at the brain, as Lara puts it)

But, I had to put any and all fangirl feelings aside and think of Bill's well being. (Something I was very sure I would always have an upmost care for.)

"Hello, My name is Layla, and this is Lara, we're from the band Antioch Rising…" I said not really sure what to say. But at least I managed that small sentence in German.

Lara grasped her hand in mine.

I wiggled my fingers so that they rested well between hers.  
Damn my damn dainty fingers.

"Yes, didn't you get the Best newcomer award?" Georg asked. They both looked slightly surprised that I was speaking German.

"Yes that was us."

"And you sat in front of us."

I nodded.

"That was us." I nodded.

"If it means anything, your hair looked very nice from the back." Gustav said to Lara in a kind, joking tone.

"Thanks. I think you're the first person who has ever said that…" Lara said.

I squeezed her hand roughly to remind her of why we were there.

"Here" I said handing them the letter and smiling slightly awkwardly.

Why couldn't I have just said it?  
*SIGH*

I'm starting to think that being a homeschooler was NOT the best way to get social skills.

Georg took the note and looked down at it with a confused face.

"Sorry about the grammar…" I said.

"It's fine." I heard Gustav mumble.

They looked up from the note a few moments later with troubled expressions.

"I'll give it to him." Georg said.

"No, please, just convey the thought, Bill'd get all freaked out by it." I said.

Georg nodded and pocketed the letter.

"It was nice to meet you." I nodded as I held out my hand.

"And you." Gustav said as he shook my hand.  
It was surreal to feel those well taken care of calluses.

He shook Lara's hand as I went to shake Georg's.

Georg smiled charmingly and kissed my knuckles slightly.

He did the same for Lara.

"Have a good night." I smiled and turned around swiftly.

Lara fallowed after me.

As we turned the corner and out of sight.

Both of us looked down at our kissed knuckles.


	4. Chapter 4

_"_Wakey wakeyyyyyy! Laaayyyyllaaaaa!" I ignored Nick poking my head incessantly as he had been for the last four minutes.

"Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke…" He said as he lifted his finger each time to poke me.

Slowly, ever so slowly with a devious smirk plastered on my face, (that he couldn't see because my face was buried in the hotel room's mattress.) I ever so slowly turned over and shoved him off the bed.

Okay, it wasn't that slow, but whatever, you get my jist.

I laughed when he hit the floor and moaned.

"Laaayyllaaa!" He whined.

"That's what you get when you decide to wake me up not very nicely. So, yeah, and don't whine at me." I said as I stood up and flopped off whatever covers were still remaining on the bed.

I stood up and stretched and looked for my pillow in the mass of hotel pillows that lay on the bed.

Nick stood up and handed it to me, it had been on the other side of the room. (Surprisingly since I went to bed with it…)

"Thanks." I said as I took it and flung it into the open suit case that was at the end of the bed.

Nick plopped down on the bed and looked down at the paper in his hand.

"So we're going on about five hours of sleep here babe,  
but after that we're on the plane and off to the land of smelly men and blond babes… And then –," But as he rambled on my hands trailed up my chest and over my arms.

"Nick." I said. "GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" I yelled, trying to cover myself.

"God Lay, it's not like I haven't seen your '_issues' _before…" he said.

"GET OUUUT!" I screamed shrilly.

Nick sighed and stood up with his hands raised.

"Fine fine, I'm coming to get you in twenty minutes, get dressed." He said.

I sighed as he shut the door sharply.

Slowly, I ran my hands over the skin I'd come so much to hate.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the intercom, the pilot said something but I wasn't paying attention.

I looked around me; the inside of the small private plane was a scene of comfort and familiarity.  
So often I had been in a place like this.

With people quiet and resting, each in their own little worlds but purely a part of the group.  
The people around me, I knew, that if I was in trouble, I would not be able to go to them because they'd be here before I'd even realized I was in trouble.

It had happened before. They'd been there to hold me up when I didn't even notice I was sinking.

Now, as we floated above the clouds, everyone was silent.

I decided I was bored and that I would not stand said boredom so I picked up my ipod and put one of the small white ear phones and hit shuffle.

As I leaned back, Keane's Hamburg Song softly played in my ear.

(Yeah yeah yeah, I know this is a boring narrative, but I will assure you that it's a rather important narrative. So just suck it up and deal with it.)

(Is it just me or does the words 'yeah yeah yeah' reminds you of that one song "Hard" by Rihanna…. Kinda like "Are you ready?" Reminds you of Justin Timberlake's "Sexy back," [Might I also add that that makes me think of Tom doing his 'Yeah I'm awesome, yeah I know you want some, wiggles lip ring and looks at you with eyebrow's quirked' look] No, that's just me? Whatever)

As the beautiful little melody played, I shifted through my ipod photos.

Shows, places, and people flashed before my eyes.

There was one of me with Joe and Adriane, Billie Joe Armstrong's wife and one of his sons.

A photo of Nina, the little girl I used to baby sit for.

And then there was a photo for the entire band and some of the staff.

Behind every one stood Josh and Austin, standing in all their hulking body guard glory. Josh with his long dark hair, and Austin with his serious blue eyes.  
There was David, his dark hair and deep eyes.  
(I really couldn't think of any other name for a band manager other than David)

Will as next in line, his shy eyes peaked out from behind his dirty blond fringe.  
His hand was poised in mid air above his leg. His must have been tapping out a beat.  
'_Drummers,'_ I thought, '_they'll bang anything…' _

Standing next to Will was our dear lead guitarist, Nick.

Oh how I loved that man, Nickolas was my oldest friend. I had known his laughing blue eyes since I was three.  
His soft face and pointy blond hair held an amount of familiarity that I hoped would always be there.

On the far left was Lara.  
Small and lithe, a kind face and poofey, dark curly hair.

A happy smile was on her face. Everything about her screamed happiness.  
She was happy where she was in life. She was the sort that had upmost faith that even if her dreams and life did not work out. She'd be all right.  
She was such a bassist.

Whatever sureness that resided in Lara did not reside in the girl at the head of the small group.  
She was a tiny girl, short in stature and slimish in weight; her tiny little hands were clasped in front of her.

She was dressed oddly with a long sleeved, long hemmed Victorian, white lace dress.  
Her long dark hair fell to her hips in a messy wave and framed her slim face.

Her mouth was set in a calm, thoughtful pout.  
But it had a very real despairing quality about it.  
Her hazel eyes seemed disturbed and haunted.  
She seemed set apart from the others.

"You do know that you've been staring at that photo for twenty minutes don't you?" Nick said as he walked up to me.  
Slowly, I turned my head and looked at him.

"You were watching me." I said. It was more a statement of fact than a question.

"It's kinda hard not to." Nick said as he peered over my shoulder at the photograph.  
"You're being all pensive, it's creepy." He said in his off-handish way as he took the ipod out of my hands.

He peered at it and pointed at the tiny girl in the front.

"You look pretty in this pic." He said, handing the device back to me. "Get some sleep , you'll need it." He said throwing a blanket over me and left me to drift off into sleep, dreams of death and embers to dance in front of my eyes performing beautiful Petit Battement's in an excess of that thoughtless grace that I yearn to have.

_

**HEY! I'M BACK ! sorry I haven't posted in ages, Went out of town and such. I will post the rest of what I have tonight if I can, and if My sisters don't end up clawing each others eyes out. **


	6. Chapter 6

"SMELL THE AIR!" yelled Lara as we stepped onto the tarmac.

The sky was clouded in the most beautiful way.  
There were hardly any people about.

Soft pearly mist hovered above the richly green grass.  
The air was sweet with that fantastic smell that was spring and its new becoming.

'_Nothing.' _I thought. '_Could make this moment any more fantastic.'_

Slowly I raised my camera to my eyes and snapped a photo.

The engine of the plane slowed as Will and Nick climbed off the plane.

"You'll have plenty of time to 'sniff the air.'" David said using air quotes.

"I said 'smell the air." Lara said in an aggravated voice, using the same air quotes. "Not 'Sniff.'"

David rolled his eyes. "Your luggage will be taken off the plane soon now go!" 


	7. Chapter 7

"Holy freaking crap…" Lara sighed as she plopped down on the down filled bed. "We've made it babe. Oh we've made it." She sighed as she flipped over and screamed into the pillow while flailing around like a seagull. (Did you know they migrate? Did you also know that they're the reason why the Mormons are still in Utah? Yep, if it weren't for Seagulls, all those Mormons would have lost their crops to Locus…)

I walked over to the bed and opened my suit case.

"What are you looking for?" Lara asked.

I held up a ratted and torn bible.

"Is this really the time for bible study Layla? Really, can't you just take in your surroundings, be not quite as godly for just a moment and look around you in greed!" Lara asked me as she sat up and raised her hands in the air.

"Genesis, Exodus…Leviticus...here we are…" I said, over talking her as I found what I was looking for.

"Sacrifices Burned whole…Laws concerning Mildew…unclean Bodily Discharges…" I said as I sifted through chapters. "Oh! That reminds me. Didn't you just have your monthly visit from Aunt Martha?" I asked. _Aunt Martha_ had arrived at the _airport_ without any _luggage _and had to use some of my _luggage _in the middle of an interview…

"Yes…?" She asked looking at me in wonder.

"First off, you can't fuck anyone for seven days, and you really should find two doves or two pigeons and offer them as a sacrifice." I said giggling slightly.

"Might as well offer you for sacrifice, you're small enough." She said spitefully, but still in a joking manner.

I clutched a hand to my chest and said "OH! THAT HURT!" Before rolling my eyes and looking onward.

"AH! Here it is." I said as I hunched over the book.

"What's there?" Lara asked as she flipped off her shoes.

They skidded across the room and hit the TV.  
It made a dull _bong _noise. But didn't see that harmed.

"Locus are Kosher." I said. "I just had a slight little narrative in my head which lead me to forget if they were or not, I thought they were, but I wanted to make sure." I plopped the book down on the bed.

"Locus?" Lara asked as she sighed.

"Yep, but you can't Geckos, they're not Kosher." I snickered.

"I WOULD NEVER EAT RICKEY!" Lara shouted, thinking about her little Gecko at home, He was very cute.

"You Know Rachel Grossman?" I asked.

"Bushy hair, big nose?" Lara asked. "Rich as heck?"

"Yep, that's her, I was over at her house one day, and she was going on and being her own little perfect hostess self, I think it was during Purim..." I said thinking for a moment. "As I recall we made those funky hat cookies..."

"Hamantashen ?" Lara asked.

"Yeah those, SOOO GOOD!"

"I know!" She giggled.

"Any way, so I was hanging out and she's like, 'do you want the Veal burgers or we also have some shellfish.'" I laughed and said, "then I go. 'Aren't Shellfish not Kosher…?' and she looks around, puts a finger to her mouth and says, 'shhh! Don't tell anyone!"

Lara snorted and rolled her eyes.

"It was funny." I said.

There was a knock at the door, David was telling us that we were gonna go eat.

"I BETTER BE ABLE TO SEE THE FREAKING BRIDGETHINGY DOWNTOWN!" I said.

"Yes yes yes, we will pass the Brandenburg gate on the way! Now hurry up!"

Lara sighed and went to retrieve her shoes from on top of the TV. 


	8. Chapter 8

Trains and sounds echoed through the Dammthor train station in Hamburg.

Even though it was only around sixty five outside. I couldn't help but feel smothered in my wool hat, stiff black pencil skirt and long sleeved white blouse.

_"IN A WORLD BEYOND CONTROLLING, ARE YOU GONNA DENY THE SAVIOR, IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES? STARE INTO THE NIGHT! POWER BEYOND CONTAINING, ARE YOU GONNA REMAIN A SLAVE FOR, THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? GIVE INTO THE NIGHT!" _

Lara screamed beside me as the music poured from her headphones.  
She bounced around and spun in a circle on her left toes.

_"_You're being weird again." I said to her. "And in public…"

"WHAT?" She screamed at me.

"I SAID YOU'RE! –," I yanked the earbuds out of her ears and said "You're being a spaz and you need to stop because it's giving me an anxiety attack."

"Sorry." She said as she put her ipod in her pocket.

"You!" some burly guy said as he came up to me in a very brutish way.

"I…?" I said peering up at his huge form. I hate being short.

"Are you der…amm…" the guy looked lost. "Lead Sänger? of Antioch Rising?"

"Yes…?" I said in German. The man looked released.

"I need you to come with me." He said in an aggravated voice.

"I'm not going nowhere with them…"

Okay, I told you, Grammar's a little off…

But in all honesty. The guy was kinda scaring me.

Lara crossed her arms across her chest and stood in front of me.

"She ain't going anywhere big guy…"

"What's going on here?" David asked as he came up to us.

"This guy –," I started out.

David cut me off though. "This guy –," He said squeezing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Is the director…"

"Oh…" Lara said her face splitting into a huge smile.

"So we really do have to fallow you!"

"Not we, I just need her." I nodded with a very sarcastic conviction and said.

"Okey Dokey cantaloupe."

"Cantaloupe…?" Lara asked in English.

"I was going for Artichoke…" I said furrowing my brows.

"I think Artichoke is _Artischocke…"_

"Ehh." I said. "Same diff."

"They both taste horrible." We said at the same time we said at the same time.

""You know –," Lara started out, but before she could even finish her sentience I cut her off, (Not in a rude way, in a weird twin kinda way) (even though, we of course, are not twins. With my writing style, I'm sure that the fact that we aren't hadn't been overly stated.)

"We really are linked at the brain."

Lara giggled as David rolled his eyes and the big man waved his hands as if to say 'hurry the fuck up!' he was obviously the type of person that was used to working TV ads or 'made for TV movies.' (even though I'm not sure they have those in the great land 'o Deutsch.)

Not dealing with over dramatic rock stars.  
I sighed and walked through the throng of people. The sounds of rushed goodbyes and shouting filled my ears.

Josh had a hand on my elbow protectively, Lara was right behind me.

We walked through a door that had a couple of police men standing in front of it. (Which might I add were rather hot.)

Behind the door was a whole other platform.

"ITS LIKE PLATFORM NINE AND THREE CUARTERS!" I squealed and jumped up and down.

"IT'S LIKE HEAVEN!" Lara screamed.

People were standing around in period clothing.  
I even saw someone hanging up a swastika.

"You, you go over there, see how the train is back on the tracks?" The man said pointing and grunting. (I'm not kidding; the guy practically went _'ooga ooga'.)_

"Ah…okay."

"Just look out the window and then get off the train, look around and take blondie's arm." He nodded at a tall blonde blue eyed German standing about three feet away.

Lara raised her eyes and looked at me, the hot-hunk-'o-burnen-Aryan-lürve (yes that's a real word, it's an 'intense fangirl adoration'!)

Raised his eyebrows and dipped his head at me. "Sexy Hexy…" Lara said waving a hand in a little wave.

"Sexy sexy…" I mumbled as I smiled back.

Behind me Josh rolled his eyes and popped his knuckles. *sigh* over protective family…

"VRITE! LETZ GOH!" the director said in English.

_'And now, we work.'_ I thought.


	9. Chapter 9

My dear readers.

I am sorry to say that this next chapter is not in first person (my point of view for those who are not smart enough to pay attention in English class, you know? Like me talking. I shouldn't have to explain this!)

ANYWHOOZLEZ!. (Yes, that's a word too)  
this chapter is gonna be in third person, past tense.

I'm sure that you will miss me and the ever so appealing sound of my voice _*talks like the fat, singing lady in 'Harry Potter and The Prisoner Azkaban* _(yes, my fellow Spelling Nazi's, I did check that)

But I will 'see' you soon.  
AND NOW! _*creepy voice*_  
On with the fic…

_*creepy voice fades away…*_


	10. Chapter 10

__

_Tick, tick, tick, tick._

A sigh.

____

_Tick, tick, tick, tick._

"Dude, I love you, but quit ticking your nails." Tom said from his perch in the couch.

"Sorry…" Bill mumbled as he sunk lower into the chair.

The TV was on in the background. A man with a rough face and ruddy brown hair stared at the TV blankly.

Bill's head slowly sank as he pulled his knees to his chest.

He sunk into a slow rest, well, rest isn't really the word, whatever Bill had fallen into was neither sleep nor restful.

Sheer exhaustion and depression hung on his shoulders.  
He felt as if his head was being pressed down by a large back of bricks.

Depressed bricks.

But as the noise of a soundless TV filled the room, a large warm hand touched his shoulder.  
Slowly, Bill looked up to see Georg standing there with an awkward look on his face.  
A strand of hair fell in front of Bill's eyes; he blew it out of his face with an aggravated gesture.

Georg sighed and squatted down to Bills level. "Look Bill…" Georg started out, all the more awkwardly before sighing and running a hand over his face.

"What's the matter?" Bill asked.

____

"_What's the matter…"_

Georg mumbled. "Look, I know this is a bad time, but this is for you." Georg said, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper.

Bill's eyebrows furrowed as he took the paper from Georg's hand.

"Who's it from?" Bill asked, thinking it was some fan letter.

"Some short chick who sings in a band, she gave it to me and Gustav, said to give it to you – uhhhghh –," Georg moaned as he sat back against the chair.

Bill opened the letter and started to read.

_My Dear Mr. Listing and Mr. Schäfer…._  
_**I really –**_

_I did not say, because I did not want to provoke them, they are naturally a bit on his plate… _

At first it didn't make much sense, but as Bill read on the jist of the letter was caught.  
He was quite sure that whoever wrote the letter was not a natural German speaker.

As he continued reading, he felt his stomach turn into molten lead.

Slowly, more tears ran down his face. Why would she care?

"Where did she give this to you?" Bill asked.

"Award show."

Georg mumbled.

"GREAT!" Bill said. "EVERONE KNOWS I'VE HAD A FUCKING MENTAL BREAK DOWN!"

Tom didn't even look up from the TV as Bill screamed.

Georg let out a low, humorless laugh.

"Nah, this chick was weird…" Georg said as he stood up.

"Get some sleep man…" He said as he walked out the door. "God knows you need it"

Bill sighed and crumpled the paper in his hand. __


	11. Chapter 11

Hello, I'm back, Did you miss me

….

_Thank you_ for being so _brutally _honest. *_Sarcasm* _

So yes, where were we?

Okay, I don't remember, so I'll just start somewhere randomly…

**...!**

"My back!" Lara moaned as she sunk into the bed.

"Quit your moaning." I said as I slipped out of my shoes. "Your back doesn't hurt."

"Sorry," Lara mumbled.

"Never mind." I said as I sat down on the bed next to her.

"I have to say, that was one of the best shoots we've ever done." Lara said a little while later.

We were laying side to side on our backs, look at the ceiling.

"I love cemeteries." I sighed.

"Yeah, me too," Lara said, "They're so peaceful."

"I know what you mean." I said as I crossed my legs.  
Outside, the sun was in its last bit of light before setting fully.  
The sounds of Hamburg came up through the open window along the soft breeze.

"It's like, you're in the place where you know you're going to end up, the place where everything is final. Death is the only sure thing in life."

"You're being morbid again babe." Lara said, laughing slightly.

"Everyone needs a little bit of morbidity in their lives." I said.

Lara sighed and said "No, Layla, they don't."

I rolled my eyes and was quite for a minute.

"It was sad though…." Lara said breaking the silence. "…Seeing the people all dressed in black. It was such a pretty day, I don't know how they could stand to see a loved one buried on a day like today."

I nodded, fully knowing what she was talking about.

"Did you notice no one else was in the place?" I said.

"No, what do you mean?" Lara said turning her head to face me.

"There were police everywhere, you didn't notice?" I asked.

"Uuhhuuhh…." Lara shook her head.

"The place was deserted." I twirled a strand of her hair around my finger. "I've been in cemeteries many times, I've never seen one that empty."

"I just figured one of our crew told them all to go away."

"Nah, we were in the oldest part of the place, over to the back, I don't think there would have been any one to bother us."

Lara shrugged.

As the already dim light drifted off of the walls, I said. "You haven't seen my necklace have you?"

"No. why?" she asked me.

"I left the hotel with it on, I mean, I never take it off…"

"I don't take mine off either." She said, touching the small, six pointed star on her neck. "Sorry, anyway."

"But when I got back I realized it was gone…. Must have dropped it during filming…"

"We could go look for it?" Lara asked. "I know it means a lot to you…"

"No, it's all right, I mean, we romped around in the woods so much."

"But they were pretty!" Lara said.

"They were pretty, but we ran all over that place, it would take us years to find it if we tired,"

"Yeah, you're probably right, I'm sorry you lost it though." She said as she stroked my hand slightly.

"It's all right," I said, even though it really wasn't.

"You know my heart's always belonged to Germany anyway."


	12. Chapter 12

**okay, so you know how I might have kinda said that that was all I had, well, I lied.  
I forgot that I had this many chapters backed up, sooo yeah, haha? Anyway, review!  
**_

As the clock in the background ticked steadily, the slow, summer sun was setting, it cast shadows and brilliant light as the reflections came through the window.  
To most people, under normal circumstances, such a view would be stunning.

The look of the streaming sunlight as it cast orange, red and blue rays over the floor and walls, the prisms on the couch, cast by sunlight streaming through a Chrystal lamp, couldn't be more beautiful.

But to Bill, it was simply there.

Nothing new, nothing special.  
In fact, he almost hated the fact that everything around him was in full, summer bloom, that the light was pretty, that the sounds in the air were fantastic.

Simply because he couldn't enjoy it one bit.  
Bill had always been the sort to cherish the simple things, bask in sunlight and enjoy life.  
But now, everything had changed, every little bit.  
As he sat in silent contemplation, his thoughts once again wandered to the small slip of paper that sat on the table next to him.

Such woe this paper had caused, such thoughts, such wonderings.  
Once again, he picked it up and read it over.

The paper was, by now, creased and crinkled, the words almost wearing off.

_Layla Eithne…._

Suddenly Bill was filled with the thirst to know who this person was.  
He picked up his laptop, pulled up the internet, and typed in her name.  
The first thing that came up on the page was the Band Antioch Rising.  
That much he had figured would happen.  
But he wanted to know who Layla Eithne was.

Hitting the link for the bands website, he scrolled through the names of the band members.

Will Harper.

Nick Andrews

Lara Löhne, (At that he wondered if that was her real name, due to the fact that Löhne was a city in Germany…)

Layla Eithne.

Clicking the link, he couldn't help but be taken aback by the photo that was there.  
She was a tiny little thing, with long brown hair, large glass like eyes, and a small, white, pointed chin; she looked as if she were a china doll.

With a jolt, he realized he knew that face.  
That face, was none other than the face that had looked on him in worry at the Award show a few weeks ago, the one that had taken his jacket.

Slowly, he started reading her bio.

**_Layla Gaëlle Eithne was born on March fifteenth 1992 in the town of Plano Texas._**

**_From the age of six, she studied to be a professional dancer, though, at the age of 18, with a scholarship to Julliard in New York, she, and lifelong friends Nick Andrews and Lara Löhne met drummer Will Harper._**

**_All four being musicians, Lara and Layla being classically trained, soon formed the band Antioch Rising, dreams of becoming a dancer were postponed for both Layla and Lara as they formed their band._**

**_Layla actively practices Masonic Judaism..._**

Bill sighed and clicked another button, this time, a fan sight came up.

**_RandomfactsaboutLayla!_**

**_Layla's style is NeoVictorian, and though slightly controversial, it suites her really good! Loves apples._**  
**_Adores the Beatles._**  
**_Has seven tattoos (even though no one has ever seen any of them except for the one on her wrist.)_**

Next to that statement was a photo of a hand with a set of numbers on the small right wrist next to a black heart that seemed to be dripping blood.  
Bill wondered why she would have a tattoo like that on her hand.  
Maybe it was that she was Jewish? He didn't know.

**_Doesn't like high heels.  
_****_Has been seen using a wheel chair (though, we don't know why, she won't tell us.)  
_****_Once dated Sean White. (it only lasted, like, four weeks though, so yeah)  
_****_Loves to sing in the shower._**  
**_Publically supports President Sarah Palin and helped campaigned for her._**  
**_Favorite band is Tokio Hotel_**

Bill startled slightly at this.

_**"The thing that has influenced me most would have to be the music I play. People like Nena, any Texas Red Dirt, and…even, though it's sorta odd, Tokio Hotel, I love their music, I love their lyrics, If they were the last music on earth, I'd be happy as a lark." Layla has said in an interview.**_

Bill typed in youtube and looked up the band.

There seemed to be a new video or two from the bands Vivo.  
He clicked on the first one.

There was the sound of a train as it zoomed in to a tiny little woman in a train window.

The music started, a repetitive guitar,

_"How can I decide on what's right? When you're clouding up my mind, can't win your loosing fight, all the time."_ Bill was quite literally blown away by the voice that issued through his speakers.

It was clear, and crystal, and indefinite and all the things that you don't expect to find in life. This horrible lack of stability that he had found himself in was almost taken away in that one instant.

_"How can I ever owe to what's mine, when you're always taking sides, but you won't take away my pride, no not this time, not this time!"_

The woman in the video looked as if she were ready to cry. Emotion poured from her being as the hills and trees whizzed past her window. _"I USED TO KNOW YOU SOO WELLL!"_ She screamed, doubling over.

_"HOW DID WE GET HERE, I THINK I KNOOOOWWWW!"_

_"The truth is hiding in your yes, and its hiding on your tongue, just boiling in my blood, you think that I can't see, what kind of man that you are, well I will figure this one out, on my ownnn…."_

Bill was simply mesmerized by the song, but the video, by everything.

By the shaggy haired man sitting across from the woman singing, by the curly haired woman who was reading, by it all.

At the end of the song the tiny woman got off the train in her little hat and skirt, only to walk over to a man in a Nazi outfit.  
She looked despairingly at the blond man whom she had gotten off the train with and walked away.

Bill's eyebrows scrunched together as he sat in deep thought.

Suddenly, there was a slam as the front door was banged open.

"I'M HOMEEEEEEEEEE!" A cheerful voice yelled.

"All right, take off your shoes." Bill said as he shut down the computer with one last look at the video.


	13. Chapter 13

I sat down on the piano bench, at once, my body protested.  
Bloody hell.  
"Would someone please get me the extra wheely chair from underneath the desk?" I said calling through the glass where all the producers sat.

David nodded as Pat, one of the producers wheeled it in.

"Thanks." I said, nodding.  
With a heave, I plopped down on the chair and pulled up to the big Baby Grand piano.  
"Right, let's get this show on the road!" Lara shouted giddily from the corner.  
"Ready?" I asked Will and Nick.

They nodded.

"We're recording, now." David said from behind the glass.

Everything went into a hush as I started playing the piano.  
The melody was soft, but in a quick beat that was full of emotion.

_"Well she won't leave this night alone, And she won´t sleep at all, and all the sorrow that she takes out on herself._  
_It comes around and leaves her bleeding on the floor, and she knows, Yeah she knows that there's a lot of ugly things about this world."_

Will started banging the drums as the others joined in_. _  
The sound was a hard rock, but it still held the mysterious quality of the piano.  
I really liked the sound.

_"These street lights! They shine bright! _  
_As they illuminate the darkness of the pavement, They shine._  
_As we try to write in on her arms, The love she longs to taste."_  
I sang/yelled into the mic.

_"And we'll find that inside! That she's a broken heart that anyone could save! It's alright, it's alright, it's alright!"_ My voice was going to be sore from all this screeching. But hey, it sounded good.

_"Feeling worthless, self-destruction, Try to take control of this._  
_Find a purpose, reconstruction. _  
_Write it somewhere it will stick._  
_And stars are hiding now, but there's something out there still._  
_And she knows._  
_Yeah she knows that there's an awful lot of beauty in this world." _  
Sure, I knew I was singing like a passionate maniac on drugs, but whatever.

We ran through the curious again as Nick played a hard guitar solo.

_"And the stars are always there, but we miss them in the dirt and clouds._  
_We miss them in the storms._  
_Remember hope._  
_Remember hope._  
_Hold onto hope._  
_We have hope._  
_Hold onto hope._

_It's all right, it's all right,"_

I counted beats in my head before I took a deep breath and screamed;

_"ALRIGHT!"_

The music stopped as the light that said they were recording went off.

David gave an enthusiastic thumbs up as Nick nodded his head proudly.

"Not too shabby." I snickered.

"Not too shabby at all!" Lara shouted.


	14. Chapter 14

"You're an idiot!" Will shouted.

"Thank you!" Nick laughed back. "Stupidity is what I aim for!"

I rolled my eyes as I limped down the stairs.

"Did any of you hear the door bell?" I asked.

Both looked up at me. "Yeah." Nick said still holding a bag of mashed potatoes over Will's head.

"Well, did any of you think of answering it?"

"We're kinda in the middle of something…" Nick said in all seriousness.

Rolling my eyes quite thoroughly, I walked to the door as a tiny little knock sounded.  
While I unlocked the door I wondered why a child was knocking at our door.

I swung open the door and sure enough, a little boy stood looking up at me with a brilliant smile on his face.  
Now, let me tell you, dear reader, I have seen some damn cute kids. But in all my years, nothing has ever compared to what was in front of me.

He was the kind of cute that you just want to squeeze him to your chest and protect him from all the evil and vile things in the world.

He couldn't have been more than four years old, he had a long heart shaped face, short sandy brown hair and deep brown, almond shaped eyes.  
"Hallo!" he said brightly. "Gutentag! Mien name ist Liam und –"

"Who's that?" Nick asked walking up to me and cutting the boy off.

"A nice boy named Liam whom you just rudely interrupted." I sneered at him, he rolled his eyes at me and walked away.

"Anyway, what were you saying?" I asked in German.

I was surprised when he changed languages and continued speaking in English, "My name is Liam and I used to live here!" he said, rocking back and forth on his toes.

"Did you now?" I asked brightly.

"Ja! My papa and my uncles recorded here a few months ago!"  
Oh. My god his accent was cute.  
Absentmindedly I crouched down to his level.

"But!" he said with a great amount of emphasis, "I think I left my matchbox cars here and I really really really miss them und Ich was wondering if I could look for them?" he said peering up at me despairingly.

"Of course you may." I said, "In fact, just a few days ago I found two blue race cars." He jumped up and down squealing and clapping his hands. I snickered and said; "You're welcome to come in but only if your parents say it's okay."  
He nodded and said. "My papa is parking the car.

I nodded and smiled slightly but before I could say anything else a pair of long, black blue jean clad legs came into view.

As I looked up I felt my jaw drop.

Now, let me tell you, no matter what you've heard, what you've seen, Bill Kaulitz will ALWAYS look beautiful, and will ALWAYS be tall.

I smiled up and him nervously and said "Hi."

He simply looked down at me with an eyebrow raised as if wondering why I was on the ground.

In that moment, I cursed myself for ever crouching down.

I sighed huffily and yelled "WILL!"

"Heh?" He shouted back from wherever the XBOX was,

"I'm stuck come pick me up please!" I whined slightly.

But before Will could even put the controller down two strong arms were hooked underneath my armpits and I was hoisted up on my feet.

I smiled slightly and yelled into the house "Nevermind!"

"Kay!" Will shouted back. The bastard hadn't even gotten up.  
"I'm Layla." I said holding up a hand.

"Bill Kaulitz." he said smiling slightly as he shook my hand. I hardly came up to his hips, damn I'm short.

"It's nice to see you again."

"And you of course." I said, surprised that he had noticed that we'd met before.

"You're wearing my jacket." He stated, looking at me.

I was indeed. "No need to waist a perfectly good jacket."

"Of course not." He mumbled.

I nodded opining the door wide so they could come in.

"I'm sorry to bug you." Bill said slightly awkwardly as he stepped into the house/studio with Liam.

"It's quite all right," I said leading the way up to my bedroom.

"Liam was very polite and very kind and respectful so I have no issue with helping him in his quest to find the lost blue matchbox cars!" I smiled down at the little boy, he smiled back brightly at me.

"Welcome!" I shouted as I swung open my bedroom door. "To the pit of doom!"

Liam let out a little dramatic screech at the sight of my very messy bedroom.  
Suitcases, guitars, and your random violin were all over the place.

Dresses seemed to spew from the depths of the wardrobe and from underneath my bed.  
There was even a bra on the lamp post.

Bill sighed and put a hand over his son's mouth.

I snickered and walked over to my closet.

"Hold on one second and I'll get them."

As I rummaged through the boxes on the top, I realized… I…am... short.  
"Bill, will you please reach that box?" I asked him, he nodded and reached up for it with ease.  
My God, he still smelled good.

As Bill held it up and I dug through it, I heard a small voice pipe up.

"Papa? Was ist das?" We turned around to see Liam holding up one of my corsets.

Bill let out a gasp. I laughed out loud and said. "That's to hold my boobs up." Liam let out a huge gasp that was even bigger than his fathers and dropped it like it was burning.

"Ahh, the cootie stage." I said looking at Bill wisely.  
He just nodded tiredly.

"Ahhh! Here we are!" I said holding up the two matchbox cars.

Liam let out a squeal and raced forward, snatching the cars from my hands with long fingers.  
He gave the cars two big kisses before holding up to his father and saying in a voice so fast that I could hardly even understand what he was saying; _"Oh Papa! Sie fand sie sie fand sie, und sie behielt sie! Ich bin so glücklich, Oma würde soooo gerne würden auch sie es nicht?"_

Bill looked down at his son with a gentle, tired smile.  
He nodded his head toward me, Liam nodded back ad if they were sharing some great secret before grabbing me around the waist and mumbling his thanks into my chest.

"Of course!" I said, holding his face in my hands.  
He smiled back with the same brilliance I had seen his father wear so many times before.

"Layla? Where's the dish soap?" Pat yelled up the stairs as Lara yelled that dinner was ready.

Liam's head snapped up at the sound of Pat's voice he took off running down the stairs yelling "ONKEL PAT! ONKEL PAT!"

I smiled at Bill and said "I'm assuming you'll be staying for dinner?"

He just nodded tiredly.


	15. Chapter 15

_"Oyfn firil ligt dos kelbil_  
_ligt gebindin mit a shtrik_  
_hoich in himil flit dos shvelbil_  
_freit sich dreit sich hin un krik."_ Lara sang as she placed the dishes on the table.

She looked up as we walked in.

Her hands stopped in mid air and her mouth was slightly agape.  
But soon enough she regained her composure as she started singing again.

_"Lacht der vint in korn_  
_lacht un lacht un lacht_  
_lakht er up a tug a gantsin_  
_mit a halber nacht."_

"Where do you want the potatoes?" Will said haphazardly holding them in the air.

"On the table you fool." I said as I sat down.

"This is Lara, Will, Nick and David." I said introducing them. "This is Bill and his son Liam."

Liam waved from his place on Pat's shoulders.

"Nice to meet ya'll." Will said, holding out a hand to shake Bill's after he had placed the potatoes on the table.

Nick, who was slightly less formal, gave him a 'sup' head nod from where he stood.

"Take a seat then." I said as Lara hummed to herself.

_"Dana, dana, dana, dana,_  
_dana, dana, dana, da,_  
_dana, dana, dana, dana,_  
_dana, dana, dana, da."_

"And you're sure we're not going to be in your way?" Bill asked, a worried expression on his face as Lara sang some more, her way of not busting out laughing or starting to cry.

_"Shreit dos kelbl zogt der poier_  
_ver she heist dich zain a kalb_  
_volst gekent tzu zain a foigl_  
_volst gekent tzu sain a shvalb._  
_Lacht der vint in korn ..."_

"Bill, if there was anything our mothers and grandmothers taught us it was that it is our personal duty to God and his people to unceremoniously shove food down your throat the moment you walk through our door. Not a bother at all." I said plopping myself down.

Lara laughed and said; "It's so true!", her song dying away.  
"What would you like to drink Liam? We have apple juice, milk, water, I think we may have Grape juice also…." I said looking up at him.

"Can I have apple juice bitte?" he asked, looking at his father.

"Don't ask me, ask Miss Layla." Bill said absentmindedly.

"Kannest Ich?" He asked.

"Yes of course." I smiled.

"Will, would you get Liam one of those apple juice boxes please?" I called to Will who was in the pantry.

"Yeah." He said back.

"What do you want Bill?" I asked him.

"Water would be fine." He nodded.

It still felt so odd to be calling him Bill.

I mean, I had always referred to him as such, but I guess it was always just as you would talk about one's brother, or the guy you had a crush on in high school, but had never really talked to. But now as I sat across from him, it felt as if I were somehow being informal, somehow rude, as if I needed to be refrying to him as "Mr. Kaulitz." Or something to that affect.

"Water." Lina chuckled as she uncorked a bottle of her mothers homemade blackberry wine.

Soon enough we were all seated down at the table and all the delicious food was spread out before us.

There were roast potatoes (my specialty), green beans and French Onion soup.

I silently thanked the heavens that we had made something that was at least somewhat vegetarian….

"Right? We got everything?" I asked as Nick finally set his phone down and sat next to Bill.

"Right." I said absent mindedly.

Lara grabbed my hand as I grabbed Pat's and we bowed our heads.

Bill caught on and did the same as I said "Lord God, we thank you for the food you have provided us, the friends we have gathered and all that is around us, bless us as we go forth into the world that we may do your will. Amen." I prayed lamely. This is why I don't like praying outloud.

Nick muttered an Amen before there was a great scraping of plates and such as everyone gathered their food.

Bill looked slightly out of place as I pushed a plate full of potatoes towards him.

"Eat, it's good for you."

He took a tentative bite before his face split into something wonderful.

You know what they say, *sing song voice* the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  
Soon everyone was eating and everyone seemed to be happy.

Liam was chattering away to Pat in fast German as Lara took healthy swigs of her wine.

"So, erm… not to be rude….but why are you here?" Lara asked nervously.

"I dropped my racecars, and I needed them, so we came here!" Liam said sucking on his juice box.

Bill looked up and smiled, bits of melted cheese dangling from his fork.

I couldn't help but smile and think, 'this is great.'

The green beans were really good too.


	16. Chapter 16

"Where were you?" Tom asked Bill as he walked into the house.

Liam was in his arms, sleeping peacefully.

"Recording studio, the lady who was there had his stupid racecars and invited us for dinner; we couldn't really get out of it." Bill stated.  
Not that he would have wanted to have gotten out of it. He had had a good time.

"Hmm…." Tom said. "I'm going to bed."

He walked over to Bill and took Liam out of his brothers arms.  
"I'll put him to bed." Tom stated.

Bill placed a kiss on his son's forehead and walked over to his chair near the window.

In all honesty, Layla was not what he had expected, not one bit… somehow she was tinier in person. That and the leather jacket she wore seemed to accentuate the fact.

There was something in her eye too… a sort of mournful observance.  
As if she were waiting for everything in front of her to wither away.  
But it wasn't a depressed sort of look, it was more she was grateful for what she had in front of her.

Her voice was light, and her hands were soft.  
Bill though of the electric shocks that ran down his arm when she patted his hand absent mindedly when Liam had made a rather loud screeching noise and he had let out a sigh.  
Frustrated with his son's lack of vocal control…Then again, he figured that it's what Bill's own mother had dealt with.

Bill's thoughts trailed away for a moment before he came back to Layla.  
Bill was surprised he was able to keep some amount of composure around her.

He felt as if he wanted to scream, jump around the room, do something else slightly insane and then pass out.

She didn't seem to mind Liam, in fact, she even seemed to like him. Bill didn't often let people outside of the family see or meet his son for fear of exploting him.  
Bill hadn't even dated since Liams mother left. It just wasn't worth it.

As Bill drifted off to sleep, he couldn't help but hear the strange song Lara sang...even if he didn't know what language it was in.


	17. Chapter 17

The room was dark and the air was still, Lara and I were laying on my bed, the covers around us and our arms linked.

"He's beautiful." Lara stated.

"Doesn't seem fair does it?" I asked her.

"Nah…. Liam's so cute though!" she giggled.

"He is…" I said. "He was so stinking polite it isn't even funny."

"Did Bill seem quiet to you?" Lara asked me.

"Yeah, it was weird, but then again, he is totally anti social now-a-days, so I don't know what his issue is."

"Stupid Les Afgahns on tour." Lara mumbled. "Liams bitch of a mother."

"Yeah, well, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named can go in a deep dark hole."

"I'd like to cast them all into a pit with a lion…" Lara mumbled.

"Wouldn't that be nice? Lara yawned, curling up in the bed.

"Yes it would." I stated, my head falling back against the pillows.


	18. Chapter 18

The smell of smoke filled the air as I stumbled my way through the flames, everything was up in smoke, everything on fire.  
Nothing was left unscathed, everything having been touched by those lurid red flames.

I was trying to get to where I was going, but I couldn't make it, I couldn't make it.  
I never made it.

But that's not true, I did make it, I made it.  
But where I ended up was not as I had wished I would be.


End file.
